My life is screwed up. I thought things could go on as per normal. But right now, I have a big responsibility to take on and never can I leave it. I need to change myself for the better. I can't be like the old Nina. I've hurt both of my parents very much. And seriously, Father is getting sick. It's all because of me. God! Please don't take my dad away. Our family need him very much. Without him, it will be pointless to continue with our lives.

I thought I would be fine but in the end, I'm the one suffering. I feel so empty. But i know, She will make me laugh soon. Make me smile. Give me strength. Give me the happiness that I've never felt before.

I'm becoming a different person now. I no longer live like all my cousins, my friends. No.

This is just the beginning. There is still more trouble up ahead and I can really see it's a big one. Kuat kan Iman and I know God will always be there for me and just prepare what he have in stores for me. Life still has to go on. I know I'm weak, gembeng, kuat merajuk, keras kepale, keras hati,... All that have to change. I have to be strong. I can't stress myself. I need to cheer up and held my heads high. I can't look back, now. I need to look straight.